


(Here I am) on the road again

by hugemind



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Bottom Sam Winchester, Coda, Comfort/Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s13e11 Breakdown, M/M, Top Dean Winchester, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 17:27:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16454237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hugemind/pseuds/hugemind
Summary: The thought of losing Sammy is not something Dean can handle. Coda to "Breakdown" (13x11), where Sam was sold for parts and Dean was not happy about that.





	(Here I am) on the road again

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to my LJ on October 11th, 2018.

Dean drives deep into the night. Sam went out like a light a hundred miles back, just as Dean thought he would.

Kid's never really gotten the sleep-deprived bruised eyes, but Dean's seen the signs of Sam's weariness. He knows Sam's not been sleeping well, knows about the tossing and turning, but he hoped that Mr. Sensitive would talk about it. Looks like he's taken a page out of Dean's book just like Dean's been trying to take a page out of Sam's book and quit carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

He hates losing people they know, keeps feeling like it's his fault even though in the end they all made their decisions on their own.

If people choose danger and hunting monsters to save others, then the least Dean can do is respect their choice. He hates that either way they end up losing people they love - through death or through normalcy - but it's not like they don't have a choice, too. Granted, after all these years and all the miles on the road, it's a non-choice for Dean and Dean thought it would be one for Sammy too. They are helping people and Dean wouldn't be able live with himself if he left the life behind. Besides, he's got Sammy to keep him company and to keep him sane. Truth be told, if Dean was on his own, living this life, he'd be long dead already. Either from a monster or by his own hand after losing one too many friends. His heart constricts, thinking about the what ifs.

There's a motel sign announcing vacancy and Dean pulls over to the gravel lot. He can't drive in the silence any longer. Sam's stirring up when he returns to the car with the keys.

"Hey man, what's up?" Sam yawns.

"Just thought you'd be more comfortable sleeping in a bed." Dean grabs their duffels and thunks the trunk closed.

"Nah, probably won't sleep anyway."

"Well, I'm more comfortable in a bed."

"We could've switched seats. I'm good to drive at least a couple of hours."

"And crash Baby? Don't think I haven't seen how tired you really are." Dean points his index finger at Sammy for emphasis.

Sam quiets, lets Dean herd him towards their room. They get inside and the feeling Dean got in the car is only growing. He ditches the duffels on the floor, gently enough because of the arsenal, and turns to face Sam. Sam doesn't even manage to look at him funny before Dean grabs his face and kisses him.

Sam takes a second to realize what's happening but he returns the kiss and the tension in Dean's shoulders goes down a little. Dean's hands grow restless and they start roaming over Sam's body.

"Fuck, Sam. Thought I'd lose you. Thought I'd be too late."

Dean keeps kissing Sam, admitting everything against Sam's lips. His hands are stripping Sam's clothes and suddenly Dean needs to get his hands on Sam's skin more than he needs air to breathe.

"Can lose everything and still push through, can survive that." Dean stops for long enough to look Sam in the eyes. Fucking chick flick moments. "Can't fucking lose you, Sammy."

Sam makes a small anguished sound. Dean falls to his knees, pulls Sam's jeans and underwear down as he goes and fists Sam's flaccid dick. Sam starts to get hard in Dean's hand and harder still when Dean replaces his hand with his mouth.

Sam's warmth, his musk, his solid muscles under Dean's hands remind him that Sam's still here with him, still alive, and that is all Dean needs and will ever need. He fucks his mouth on Sam's cock, feeling Sam's hands in his hair, a thumb on his cheek tracing the two-day stubble and he lets the head of Sam's cock slip against the inside of his cheek so Sam can feel it.

Dean loses himself in the slip and slide of Sam's cock against his lips and tongue.

He tastes precome before he even registers how hard he is himself and how Sam's babbling and trying to get Dean up.

"Dean, fuck, get up. Shit. Fuck that's good. C'mon, need you."

It takes Dean a moment to realize what Sam's really saying but he gets up, sheds his shirts before kissing Sam again. Sam makes another anguished sound and clings to Dean like an octopus.

Dean's not sure how exactly they get fully undressed without Sam seemingly not letting him go for one second but they're in bed, Sam above him and the kissing feels so good. Even better is to have Sam's weight on top of him, body moving in delicious friction, warmth and sweat collecting between their naked chests.

Sam reaches for the duffels with his ridiculously long monkey arms and Dean uses the opportunity to lick Sam's neck, bite his shoulder. Sam hisses and returns to kissing Dean, more aggressive this time. Dean hears the cap of the lube snick open and feels some of the warmth dissipate as Sam contorts his arm behind himself.

Dean raises his head, "Lemme see."

Sam obliges instantly and raises himself on his knees, holding his dick and balls so Dean can see Sam sliding his fingers into his hole. Sam's head is thrown back and he looks so beautiful chasing after his own fingers, making himself ready for Dean.

Despite the intriguing sight, Dean wants to put his hands on Sam, can't just sit this one out, so he locates the lube, smears it onto his fingers, and reaches to trace Sam's wet rim. It's hot and stretched and Sam keens quietly as Dean runs his fingers around it.

"C'mon, Dean. Give it to me."

Dean can't not do it, and he slips two fingers inside Sam. He scissors them, strokes Sam's prostate deliberately, and feels Sam push one finger more inside to join Dean's two.

"Fuck me, Dean. Need you so bad."

Sam wraps his fist around Dean's cock, pumps it. It's almost enough to make Dean see stars. He pulls his fingers out, wriggles down on the bed to reach Sam better and Sam takes over, lowering himself onto Dean's cock, seating himself fully in one go.

Dean's hands take hold of Sam's hips but he's there just along for the ride Sam's determined to take. Sam leans on Dean's chest, hands pushing air out of his lungs, but it's air he doesn't need because the sight of Sam alive--sweaty skin, glassy eyes and mouth a perfect 'O'--already takes his breath away.

Dean meets Sam stroke for stroke and Sam's anguished sounds have turned into moans and grunts. Dean can feel the buildup in his balls, muscles working hard to prolong this feeling, to not let go yet.

Their bodies slam together wildly but in perfect rhythm and just as Dean can't hold it back anymore, Sam comes, spurting over Dean and himself, and the sight and the sound and the incredible tightness around Dean's cock make him give up and come too.

When he returns to reality, his body is crushed under Sam's, every inch sticky-warm, but he's breathing and so is Sam. Sam rolls to the side and Dean covers them and their mess with the blanket before they can cool down. It's disgusting but it's real and it's them and Dean can hear Sam's breathing smooth into sleep.

 

_\--end--_


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